Short Story 1: "Leaving Home"

(This story is based on the time in my life when I was newly married with a little baby and leaving the home I had known for most of my life. I wrote this as a short story exercise, and since it is very personal, please don't critic it too harshly. Oh and my entire post isn't up... make sure to click on "read more" at the very bottom for the rest of the story)

Leaving Home

I sat at the edge of the bed and looked at our flight itinerary. 10:30 pm. We had about eight hours before we had to leave. The tears creating a deep pressure behind my eyes. I shut them and took a breath before I decided to make my one last plea to stay. I looked up at the husband who was laying face up in the bed. His left forearm resting on his forehead. His eyes were intense as he stared blankly into the ceiling. I crawled up next to him and rested my head in his chest. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. Tightly.


“I don’t want to go.” I said; a barely audible voice that seemed to echo in my husband’s ears, head and chest.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

No answer.

“Honey.” I said. Pleaded.

“Honey.” He pleaded back. “We made a decision.” His voice so saturated in confusion, it hurt me to hear it.

“So just because we decided six months ago…” I said my voice breaking. “It doesn’t mean, we have to go. We can stay here. We can make it work. Here. I’m willing to go back to work. I told you that.”

Jason closed his eyes. This time not opening them to talk to me. “I already told my parents. My Dad is expecting me to work for him. What am I supposed to do, just tell them we changed our minds? I can’t do that Honey.”

“Why not?” I said. My voice rising. My desperation growing. I needed to stay here. Everything was so much better here. Life for Jacob would be so much better here. How in the world would we ever enjoy life so far away from this beautiful place?

My Husband turned to look at me. “So you don’t even want to try it up there?”

“I just know that if you start working for your Dad, he’ll eventually offer you ownership and you’ll never be able to say no. We’ll end up living there forever.” I said as I began to cry. “I’m not ready to be somewhere forever. My gosh, we’re only twenty-three! I’ll be living there longer than I’ve lived here. Most of my life will be spent in Wyoming. I just can’t even fathom what it would be like.”

“So what, if we decide to stay here, will we just live here, right next door to your parents for the rest of our lives? Who knows if we will ever be able to own a home? I want to provide for you. Give you and Jacob everything you need. I don’t feel like I can do that here.”

“I’d much rather be poor and happy here, than rich and absolutely miserable up there.”

Jason turned onto his back and let out a frustrated sigh and shook his head. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know anything anymore.” He said, every word sounding more painful for him to say than the next.

***

Mom and I decided to take a drive. As she drove, she talked. She was animated. Her hands moved as she spoke. I just sat and stared out of the window. The gorgeous lush green mountains stared right back at me. This was what I was leaving for a place that couldn’t even compare. This was what I was leaving for the happiness of someone else. For the Husband whom I loved so much.

“Pam, we can make this work.” I heard Mom say when I finally tuned in.

I nodded, knowing that if I spoke, I’d lose every ounce of the very little composure I had left.

“Dad is hoping to retire soon, and when he does, we can travel to see you and you three will visit every summer. This will be Jake’s other home!”

I nodded again.

“You know Pam. God is in control.” She said as she looked out onto the road. “When we moved here, I had to leave my family too. We left a comfortable life in the Philippines to move here. You’re Dad and I had great Jobs there. You girls had Nannies and life was good. When we moved here we had no money, no friends. We made 5 dollars an hour!” she laughed. “The five of us and your Grandparents lived in a tiny apartment. But look at where we are now! God took care of us. God blessed us. Things worked out.” She said as she parked the car. “Just try it out up there. Let Jason go after his dream. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll always have a home here.”

I blinked. Hard. My insides were churning. I knew how hard this was for her; trying to make everything easier for me, even though I knew it was killing her inside to see her oldest daughter and first grandson leave her. I was dizzy with emotion. I didn’t know if I wanted to be strong or just let go and cry. I wasn’t ready to leave my roots… potentially for good. I sat back in my seat and closed my eyes for a moment. I pictured myself and my two little sisters. Three little Filipino girls with jet black hair and dark little eyes waiting in line for shaved ice at the beach. That picture made me hurt inside. I missed them. The three little girls without a care in the world. Just waiting on sweet cold treats to help combat the heat.

Mom put her hand on my shoulder breaking me away from my thoughts. “Pam, we’ll make this work. Don’t worry.”

I nodded for the hundredth time during that car ride. “I’ll miss you guys so much,” I finally choked out.

Mom’s eyes became wet. She smiled. “We’ll miss you too.” She whispered.

***

It was 9:30 pm. We were all standing outside of the security check point. Sleepy Jacob was in my Mother’s arms. The moment we were all dreading was quickly approaching.

“We should head in.” I said.

Mom gave Jacob one last tight squeeze and Dad did the same.

With my heart, feeling pinched in every part and my eyes blurry with sadness, I reached out for my Dad. He blinked away the tears. And after a long pause, he whispered, “Don’t be sad.”

“But I am.” I said through my sobs.

“Pam, don’t be sad.” He repeated. “You need to be with your Husband. You need to go where he goes. Follow him to the ends of the Earth if you have to,” He said steadily.

I was taken aback. This was coming from the Man who, literally prayed for Jason and I not to get married, just so he could keep his little girl forever. The Man who couldn’t fathom having son –in-laws, let alone grandchildren.

I pulled away to look at my Dad. His dark puppy dog eyes were sad, but strong. “I love you daddy.” I said as tears rolled down my face.

“Love you Pam.” He said.

I walked over to my Mom who just handed Jacob over to Jason. I placed my head on her shoulder.
“I love you Honey.” Mom said. “Take care of your family,” She paused, “Talk to Jake about us as much as you can.” No tears. Just a huge aching smile and pain behind her eyes. She took me into her arms, and whispered into my ear, “Remember, everything will work out. We will make it work, I promise.”

I nodded and wiped away at the tears on my flushed cheeks. I blew them one last kiss before I walked away with my Husband and my Son.

The three of us together. Our little family; heading for a new home. With every step, my heart broke. But with every step there was an added measure of hope.

Everything will work out.

My mother’s words echoed in my head and my heart.